Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
