haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
