I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
