WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
