I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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