i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
