im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
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