I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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