you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
