where am i from again
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
