I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
