I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
