problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
