she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
