Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
