We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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