she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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