Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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