Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
