I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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