Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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