i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
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i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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