Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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