I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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