thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
