My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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