i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
