hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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