just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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