What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
