I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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