i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
