i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
