I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
