how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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