But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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