In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
