Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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