Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
