Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
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Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
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