good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
