cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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