Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
