2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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