This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
