He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
