who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Randomize
