I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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