Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
