So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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