oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You're like the curious george of whores
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
