new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
