ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
