Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
