when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
