my mouth tastes like poor choices
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
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i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
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She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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