I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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