So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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