Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
